Category Archives: Misc

20 Random Facts About Me

Narcissistic? Well, sue me! I was once asked to describe myself in one word and what I could come up with is introvert. Quite cliché, don’t you think? Well, I had to come up with random facts about myself to give me options.random facts

  1. I’m a sucker for good grammar and punctuations, especially when reading. I can’t stand those who use ‘am’ instead of ‘I’m’; ‘loose’ instead of ‘lose’, ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ or ‘their’ instead of ‘there’. I might just punch you in the throat.
  2. I used to think the concept of celebrity crush is nonsense but I have 2 of those now 🙈. They’re Janelle Monae and Sanaa Lathan.
  3. There are 3 songs I rarely skip on my playlist- Captains and Cruise Ships (Owl City), Vivid Imagination (K1 de Ultimate) and House on Fire (Sia).
  4. Chip off the Old block: I’ve lost count of the number of times I have been told this. Even my barber told me this yesterday, despite the fact that he has never seen me with my dad before! Few years ago, a man I had never met before and who had never met me too asked if I was Mr Femi’s son. Quite creepy!
  5. I’m a movie junkie. Sometimes, what gets me through a bumpy day is the fact that I have unwatched movies on my laptop. My favourite series is How I Met Your Mother.
  6. The first feature I notice on a woman is the stomach. I love flat stomachs.
  7. I’m usually unmotivated and unproductive when my space is invaded.

Oh! You’ll be visiting? That’s fine, but when will you be leaving?

  1. When I can, I cherish a 10-minute time of silence every morning.
  2. I’m a lover of dark rooms. Bright lights freak me out.
  3. When I was younger, I had 2 contrasting nicknames- Gentleman and Ekun.
  4. Sometimes, I get the urge to get lost. When I get bored, I take a hike into hitherto unchartered territories.
  5. I believe pizza is overrated and semo is thrash.
  6. The oldest piece of clothing I have is a 16 year old jacket. Classic case of ‘You-Will-Grow-Into-It’.
  7. If it’s not beef, fish or FRIED chicken, count me out.
  8. One day, I would love to have either a cat or a monkey as a pet.
  9. Sometimes, what gets me through a rough week is the knowledge that there is a Manchester United match in the weekend.
  10. It was a few months to my 8th birthday when my paternal grandmother died. I was disturbed when she was referred to as ‘late’. I thought anyone who was late would be punished. No thanks to latecomers in school.
  11. I am allergic to dust.
  12. I have a mild OCD. It leans more towards compulsion than obsession though. I haven’t told anyone this before.
  13. It requires much for me to get angry, but I can be vindictive when I am. I’m still a work in progress in this department.

Do we have anything in common? Share them below.

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Of Forensics & Fighting Boko Haram.

The Boko Haram insurgency in the North eastern part of the country can be described as a crime against humanity because the sect’s activities carry the features of such and also carry genocidal tendencies. The sect’s ideology which is to establish an Islamic caliphate is such that all opposition to it is met with brutal violence. The sect’s mode of achieving this has been assassinations, bombings, systematic wiping out of people of other beliefs and recruitment of child soldiers.

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In the light of this, forensic science can be of great significance in stopping this sect. Forensic science, which is a multidisciplinary field involving chemistry, psychology, archaeology, accounting, is a field that thrives on facts and evidences in order to prosecute offenders. For this deadly sect to be stopped, principles of forensic science must be employed.

A major aspect of forensic science that must be employed is forensic archaeology. This is because forensic archaeologists are trained experienced in using archaeology principles to solve crimes. The add value to forensics because of their techniques in discovering crime scenes and the systematic method of recovering evidence. Boko Haram sometimes bury the victims of their menace in mass graves. Forensic archaeology will come into play when recovering the remains from the graves and also the evidences buried in the grave– like bullet casings. Forensic archaeologists have been involved in this in countries like Rwanda and Yugoslavia where mass graves were located.

Another area where forensic science will help in solving this sect’s menace is the use of forensic anthropology. Forensic anthropology deals with identifying the victims as well as their manners of death. This information will be significant in prosecuting the perpetuators in the court of law because the crimes and the victims will thus not be treated in abstract.

Another field of forensic science that will be significant is forensic chemistry. This subfield is important because it usually links the perpetuator to the crime scene through evidences that will be analysed in the laboratory. Because of the sect’s use of guns and explosives, the study of such will be done though the ballistic analysis. Ballistic analysis, which is a subfield of forensic chemistry, will seek to know the types and properties of explosives the sect uses. Therefore, the origin of such explosives can be traced.

Furthermore, the sect has been discovered to use controlled substances like cocaine and heroin. Forensic chemistry can also be used to determine the origin and properties of the drugs. The result of this can thereafter be used in sentencing the sect’s members.

Terror activities are usually capital intensive because weapons have to be purchased and for other logistical activities. Thus, forensic accounting is significant in fighting insurgency. Because the financial activities of terrorist groups are usually are usually discrete (discreet), it is usually difficult to unravel their source of funding. However, with forensic accounting, the source of their finance and channelling routes can be exposed. In doing this, seemingly innocent organisations can be linked to terrorist activities. This aspect of forensics is usually employed by intelligence agencies such as the CIA to fight terrorists groups like Al-Qaeda.

The use of forensic botany can also be used in fighting the insurgency. This is effective in the events of mass graves. Forensic botany will be able to determine whether the location of the mass grave is the primary crime scene or the secondary crime scene. This will be done by analysing the plant materials such as pollen grains (which are almost indestructible) and other plant materials. Forensic botany, through the analysis of pollen grains found on the victims will also determine the season of death. The results of these analyses can then be compared with the timeline of the sect’s activities in order to have an effective sentencing in the court of law.

In addition, forensic psychology will be very significant in fighting the insurgency. Forensic psychology will seek to examine and analyse the motive and state of mind of the perpetuators. With this, a sequence can be formed and thus, helping to prevent further attacks. Forensic psychology will also be important in ‘de-brainwashing’ the child soldiers that have been recruited by the sect and also in rehabilitating the victims of the sect’s activities.

In conclusion, it can be determined from the above points that forensic science investigation is very important in fighting ‘Boko Haram’ insurgency. The evidences that will arise from forensic science investigations will be highly valuable in convicting the perpetuators of crimes against humanity.

NB: This was an exam question and I felt I should reproduce my answer here, verbatim. What would you score me?

Also, ballistics analysis doesn’t include explosives.

Photo credit: http://www.stpeterslist.cm

Hakeem.

Jollof Rice Life.

Okay, I really shouldn’t be doing this. Because, Ramadan. But this darling in front of me won’t let a brother be great. But, whatever…

Yup! I’m talking ’bout the mentor of foods. A food all foods aspire to be like. Jollof Rice. Those two words really is life. A food for all seasons.

In the dearth of patriotism, studies have revealed that jollof rice is the resource binding all tribes together.

Light-skin babe, Jackie Chan pon the bed, hourglass body, Spanish accent.. but can you prepare jollof rice?

This darling right here is the forger of friendship and a destroyer of same.

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Husband Material: 1,000 yards

You don’t expect me to visit you after years and you serve me salad or pizza, after informing you of my visit. No, that’s where our friendship gets terminated.

Maifren, goan get me jollof, will you?!

I know Kenna on Twitter whose mode of celebrating feats is just to prepare jollof. That act itself is a feat.

All men are born equal, but not all men are born to recognise the greatness that is jollof rice – Hakeem, 2015.

Jollof is one food I know where the top and base part of the pot is loved. Some people love the burnt part of the pot. Cures impotency I heard! Ahmean! Nature, in its fairness, has made this food in such a way that it’s available for all societal classes. The poor man has his own version- with ata gigun and tomato paste, you’ll prepare jollof, albeit the inferior one. But at least, you are better than Warren Buffet, who in spite of his billions hasn’t tasted the king of foods.

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One word: Deluxe.

Of what use are all the billions if your stomach hasn’t been visited by jollof rice. Cruising on the Greek Isles on a private yacht and vacation at the Serengeti got nothing on a meal of jollof rice. Of what use if Einstein’s knowledge (to him) if he didn’t taste jollof rice during his lifetime? Of what importance is the absolute power of Kim Jong-un, if he hasn’t heard of the gospel of jollof rice?

Haters will say jollof rice is overrated. I used to be angry at such opinion and regard it as a treason but experience has told me to sympathize with ’em because life can be hard for the blind.

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Sacrilege!!

But the holy grail of jollof rice is the party jollof rice. Goddamit! The aroma itself is capable of disorienting one… *shallows saliva*… But what really makes party jollof rice different? I can’t buy asoebi for your wedding and you’ll not serve me jollof rice.

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I’ll demand a refund. Don’t hate the player, bruh. I didn’t make these rules.

So, have you had a meal of jollof rice recently?

Hakeem.

CRUSHER-CRUSHEE

The bed creaked under his weight. Sleep has eluded him. A generator hummed in the distance. He turned around on his bed like an okoto while the event of the past day resonates in his head. Just when he had thought it wise to make his intention known to his crush, he had found himself in that dreaded zone. Though that was what his heart desired, he had approached Itunu after barrages of prodding from his buddies Heartbroken & dejected, he had hoped to find solace in the warmth of his bed but it obviously had other plans.

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Me. Basically.

Her expression and words keep playing in his head- with a coy smile planted on her fresh face, which highlighted her dimples, while her evenly set dentition flashed in his expectant face, she had said, ‘Ermm, you know.. we really should just remain as friends’. He had then nodded his head in (dis)agreement while a stifled giggled escaped from his lips.
Introverted & shy- a bad combo already, some would say,his shot at forging a relationship just met a stonewall. Now, he’s going to return to his companion, solitude.

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Even though Ezinne had taken her time to prepare the succulent yam and egg sauce, the food was still tasteless for Itunu whose stomach had not hosted any food for the past 7 hours. She keeps ruminating on the event of the past few hours.

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Would anyone reject this, really?

So, he finally opened up. But he has to work for it. It won’t be nice if she simply nodded in agreement to his request. ‘Dewale is everything she wishes for in a male. And more. Unlike others who were filled with youthful exuberance-inspired ennui, he is focused & result-oriented.
But, as her friends usually say, what makes a man value a lady more is if he exerts energy in getting her approval.  By so doing, she’ll be appreciated by him. The question that now bothers her mind is, will ‘Dewale come back for her?

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...in solitude