Jollof Rice Life.

Okay, I really shouldn’t be doing this. Because, Ramadan. But this darling in front of me won’t let a brother be great. But, whatever…

Yup! I’m talking ’bout the mentor of foods. A food all foods aspire to be like. Jollof Rice. Those two words really is life. A food for all seasons.

In the dearth of patriotism, studies have revealed that jollof rice is the resource binding all tribes together.

Light-skin babe, Jackie Chan pon the bed, hourglass body, Spanish accent.. but can you prepare jollof rice?

This darling right here is the forger of friendship and a destroyer of same.


Husband Material: 1,000 yards

You don’t expect me to visit you after years and you serve me salad or pizza, after informing you of my visit. No, that’s where our friendship gets terminated.

Maifren, goan get me jollof, will you?!

I know Kenna on Twitter whose mode of celebrating feats is just to prepare jollof. That act itself is a feat.

All men are born equal, but not all men are born to recognise the greatness that is jollof rice – Hakeem, 2015.

Jollof is one food I know where the top and base part of the pot is loved. Some people love the burnt part of the pot. Cures impotency I heard! Ahmean! Nature, in its fairness, has made this food in such a way that it’s available for all societal classes. The poor man has his own version- with ata gigun and tomato paste, you’ll prepare jollof, albeit the inferior one. But at least, you are better than Warren Buffet, who in spite of his billions hasn’t tasted the king of foods.


One word: Deluxe.

Of what use are all the billions if your stomach hasn’t been visited by jollof rice. Cruising on the Greek Isles on a private yacht and vacation at the Serengeti got nothing on a meal of jollof rice. Of what use if Einstein’s knowledge (to him) if he didn’t taste jollof rice during his lifetime? Of what importance is the absolute power of Kim Jong-un, if he hasn’t heard of the gospel of jollof rice?

Haters will say jollof rice is overrated. I used to be angry at such opinion and regard it as a treason but experience has told me to sympathize with ’em because life can be hard for the blind.



But the holy grail of jollof rice is the party jollof rice. Goddamit! The aroma itself is capable of disorienting one… *shallows saliva*… But what really makes party jollof rice different? I can’t buy asoebi for your wedding and you’ll not serve me jollof rice.


I’ll demand a refund. Don’t hate the player, bruh. I didn’t make these rules.

So, have you had a meal of jollof rice recently?


8 responses to “Jollof Rice Life.

  1. This is the absolute truth! Party jollof rice sure is the business! And yes, i cooked jollof rice on Sunday… And it was almost party jollof rice… If I do say so myself. Judge for yourself on my blog!


    • You cooked jollof rice recently? You’re among the elite. But if it ain’t party jollof, it can’t be like party jollof rice.

      I’ll certainly vote for the man in the video you uploaded in your blog post.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Jollof….jollof…..jollof rice, the only food I’ll go to an eatery to buy after snack… Served with #Dodo, ur intestinal worms don over-salivate….. The fact that u know the person serving the rice at a party brings inner joy…. #JollofRice, making Nigerian go #gaga since 1800…lol

    PS: nice piece bro… When #Amala go show?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ‘koko irin’ jollof rice is just so epic + when ur mum is in charge of jollof at a party,….. bruh, your joy is heavenly!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Can u imagine being the richest man in the world and not tasting Jollof rice and Plantain! What kinda money is that? Chai!!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s